July 2000
A poster on alt.polyamory was wondering why folk make a point of "tormenting" door-to-door sales folk and religious proselytisers, when surely it would be so much more polite to let them just have their say? This was my response.
Note that I don't torment doorknockers; I just wish they'd damn well leave me alone. Here's a listing of the reasons why it's an issue to me. This listing mostly relates to religious doorknockers, as they are the most numerous kind where I live; but the comments about interruption also apply to salesdroids.
1) Interruption.
Missionary
types and sales folk never ever, in my experience, show any interest in whether
I actually want to discuss their topic-du-jour at that moment. They want to discuss it, and that seems to be all that matters. If I want to talk about religion or roof restoration or what have you, I will go and talk to somebody about it - I don't want my time, attention and space taken up by strangers with opinions that they want to push on me.
I am a student who works from home. I also have concentration difficulties from time to time. When I'm finally on a roll and the work is just pouring out, the last thing I want is to have my attention shattered by some git with pamphlets at the door. When they invade my space, they also destroy my ability to work productively, in some cases for the rest of the day. Why should I have to put up with that?
There have been times when I've been sleeping during the day (due to working at night for various reasons), and god-botherers and salesdroids at my door disturb my ability to sleep no end! And what about the times that they turn up at the door when I'm in the bath, or up to my elbows in bread dough, or whatever? I don't want to have to stop whatever I'm doing just to deal with these pests. They're worse than cockroaches, which are at least silent and unobtrusive.
2) Relevance.
I am happy for someone I am conversing with on some matter to tell me what "worked for them". In that context, it may be relevant to me, since it has presumably come up in a context that I relate to. For example, if I say "I feel very stressed about the state of the world", then if the person I'm talking to says "yeah, I used to feel that way too, but then I found [religion X] and it helped me in the following way", then what they are saying about their religion follows on from what I said, and may possibly be of interest to me.
On the other hand, if a stranger in the street comes up to me and says "yay for [religion X]", then it isn't at all relevant to any previous discussion with said person, coz there's been no discussion. Religion X may have worked for their problems; but since they know nothing of my problems, life or philosophy, their comments are irrelevant to me.
3) Disrespect.
If a complete stranger comes up to me and says "convert to [religion X]" without any preamble or enquiry, then they are not showing any respect for my own beliefs. Either they are assuming my own beliefs are inferior, or they are assuming I haven't thought them through. Either of those assumptions is pretty damn patronising. If they honestly thought that I had thought my philosophy through and had good reasons for believing what I believe, would they be proselytising? I don't think so. The folk I have had discussions of the respectful sort with have never proselytised or tried to convert me, they've just said "this is what I believe" and laid it on the table for me to consider and discuss.
And following on from that....if a complete stranger comes up to me in the street and says "this is what I believe"....why should I really care? I'm interested in the beliefs of my friends and of people I care about. The world has some four or five billion people in, all of whom have beliefs of one sort of another. What Joe Godbotherer's personal beliefs are holds no real fascination for me.
4) Intrusiveness.
If they were
truly interested in sharing their beliefs in a respectful way, then they'd have
a "dial-a-god-botherer" service, or perhaps information booths, where I could
come and chat with them if I were so inclined. They don't do that. They invade
my space unasked, they come back again and again and A-bloody-GAIN, and they never leave me alone. They come into my space, invade my peace and quiet and harrass me until I snap at them.
Yes, I'm pissed off at them. Does this little rant make it clearer how much they harm my peace of mind and productivity when they hassle me?